MUSIC

Performance for the Festival of Feminist Culture and Action IT'S FIRST AND IT'S A GIRL in Skopje, August 2020.
Composition: Darja Janošević Text: Ana Dubljević
1. „Samo moje" (Only Mine)
2. Dobro veče svima. Ovo što ste slušali je kompozicija „Samo moje” autorke Darje Janošević, za istoimenu plesnu predstavu koju smo koreograf Igor Koruga i ja napravili 2016. godine. Predstava „Samo moje” je nastala inspirisana knjigom „Depresija: Javno osećanje” i sledećim rečima američke teoretičarke An Cvetkovič (Ann Cvetkovich): „Ako uspemo da se upoznamo kroz naše depresije, onda ćemo možda moći da to iskoristimo za stvaranje novih modela društvenosti koji će nas, ne samo voditi ka izlazu iz naših ćorsokaka, već nam i pomoći da razumemo ćorsokak kao stanje produktivnog potencijala.” Da se upoznamo kroz naše depresije. I tako stvorimo nove modele društvenosti... Ćorsokak kao stanje produktivnog potencijala... Ove reči u 2020. dobijaju još kompleksnija značenja nego pre, zar ne?Trenutno se nalazim u Rijeci, u Hrvatskoj. Tu sam, nakon par meseci brojnih pokusaja planiranja i propalih organizacionih planova, na jedvite jade nekako sa negativnim testom uspela da dodjem i nadjem se sa još dve koleginice. Pokušavamo da radimo na novoj predstavi. Mislim o tome da li je rad na predstavi naš nasvesni pokušaj vraćanja u staru normalnost? Predstava se zove „Tender fights”. Mislim o tome šta znači reč tenderness. Šta je to tender, kao u „someone who tends, like a gardener”. Mislim o tome šta je danas esencijalno, šta ne-esencijalno. Koja su zanimanja važna za društvo danas, a koja ne, da li se možda sada jasno pokazuje da sam i sama internalizovala stav društva da umetnost nije od prevelikog značaja za sve nas? Zašto osećam krivicu što moja prijateljica radi 16to časovne smene u covid bolnici, a moj posao je da stvaram ples? Mislim, danas više nego ikad pre, o tome koliko sam saučesnik u održavanju društveno-političko-ekonomskog poretka koji konstantno kritikujem. Da li je kritika isto što i stvarna namera da se taj sistem uruši? Mislim o ideji planetarnog generalnog štrajka. Mislim o tome kako da prognamo patrijarhalni beli supremacistički imperijalistički antropocentrični neoliberalni kapitalizam, ne samo iz realnosti koja počinje s druge strane naše kože, već kako da ga prognamo iz naših sopstvenih tela i uma? Mislim o tome šta je umetnost danas? Kakav je to ples, kao medium, kao forma, kao doživljaj, koji nam je potreban u 2020? Čitam erotsku poeziju, mislim sa Odri Lord (Audre Lorde) o tome kako erotika može biti stvarni izvor snage i moći. Mislim o tome kako da držim sigurnu fizičku distancu kada je ona neophodna, ali da istovremeno široko otvorim svoje srce.Čini me sretnom da sam danas tu sa vama. Mislim da je zajedničko promišljanje danas od izuzetne važnosti, ali jednako važno kao i iskustvo afektivnog bivanja zajedno. Umesto gledanja videa mog lica koje nešto govori, želela sam da podelim s vama malo drugačiju vrstu doživljaja. Zato vas ostavljam da odslušate jos jednu kompoziciju Darje Janošević, pod naslovom „Samo Igorovo”. Ovu kompoziciju Darja je napravila u maju 2020. i namenila je koreografu Igoru Korugi i njegovom brzom ozdravljenju. Igor se dugo lečio od specifične vrste hroničnog kovida, proveo mesece u bolničkom krevetu boreći se iznova i iznova sa svim mogućim kompleksnostima, nepoznanicama i neizvesnostima same bolesti, jednako kao i našeg zdravstvenog sistema. Kaže da je slušao ovu kompoziciju kad god nije mogao da zaspi.

English:

Good evening to all.

What you listened to is the composition "Only mine" by Darja Janošević, for the dance show of the same name, which we choreographer Igor Koruga and I made in 2016. The play "Only Mine Alone" was inspired by the book "Depression: Public Feeling" and the following words of the American theorist Ann Cvetkovich: "If we manage to get to know each other through our depressions, then we may be able to use it to create new models of sociability. It will not only lead us out of our impasses but also help us understand the impasse as a state of productive potential. ” Let's get to know each other through our depressions. And so we create new models of sociability ... A dead end as a state of productive potential ... These words are gaining even more complex meanings in 2020 than before, right?

I am currently in Rijeka, Croatia. There, after a couple of months of numerous attempts at planning and failed organizational plans, I somehow managed to come and meet two other colleagues with a negative test. We are trying to work on a new show. I think about whether working on the play is our conscious attempt to return to the old normalcy? The show is called "Tender Fights". I think about what the word tenderness means. What is a tender, as in "someone who tends, like a gardener". I think about what is essential today, what is non-essential. Which occupations are important for society today, and which are not, is it perhaps now clear that I myself have internalized the attitude of society that art is not of great importance for all of us? Why do I feel guilty that my friend is working a 16-hour shift in a covid hospital, and my job is to create a dance? I think, today more than ever before, about how much I am an accomplice in maintaining the socio-political-economic order that I constantly criticize. Is criticism the same as the real intention to collapse that system? I think about the idea of a planetary general strike. I think about how to banish the patriarchal white supremacist imperialist anthropocentric neoliberal capitalism, not only from the reality that begins on the other side of our skin but how to banish it from our own bodies and minds? I think about what art is today? What kind of dance, as a medium, as a form, as an experience, that we need in 2020? I read erotic poetry, I think with Audre Lorde about how eroticism can be a real source of strength and power. I think about how to keep a safe physical distance when it is necessary, but at the same time open my heart wide.

It makes me happy to be here with you today. I think that thinking together is extremely important today, but just as important as the experience of being together. Instead of watching a video of my face saying something, I wanted to share with you a slightly different kind of experience. That is why I leave you to listen to another composition by Darja Janošević, entitled "Samo Igorovo" (Only Igor's). This composition was made by Darja in May 2020 and intended for choreographer Igor Koruga and his speedy recovery. Igor was treated for a long time for a specific type of chronic Covid19, he spent months in a hospital bed, struggling over and over again with all possible complexities, unknowns, and uncertainties of the disease itself, as well as our health system. He says that he listened to this composition whenever he could not fall asleep.

3. „Samo Igorovo” (Only Igor's)